Last year, Mia did no extra-curricular activities because she was too nervous. She wouldn’t even go to Sunday school unless I sat in the hallway. Nothing could make me prouder than to say that she started dance mid-way through the year, and yesterday performed with all the girls who’d been dancing for years. For anyone who has anxiety or who has a child with anxiety, things CAN get better.
She’s the super-smiley one second from left. When I get my act together, there’ll be an essay about this transformation.
He Sees the Future
More deep conversations in the car:
JJ: “I’m never gonna drive.”
Me: “How’re you going to go anywhere?”
JJ: “The girl.”
Me: “What girl?”
JJ: “The girl I’m gonna marry.”
Me: “The girl you’re going to marry is going to drive you everywhere?”
JJ: “Mm-hmmm.”
Me: “Why? Why wouldn’t you drive?”
JJ: “Cause I’d always go too fast.”
I wonder: Is he overly worried or scarily self-aware?
No More Cleaning OCD
We’re in the midst of selling our house, and I have been keeping the house Immaculate (yes, that’s a capital I) despite the fact we have two kids and we occasionally eat/bathe/sleep in our home.
A sign I’m losing my cleaning mojo?
I just cleaned up a coffee spill with a sock.
Which was on my foot.
The New Member of Our Family
Another riddle: what should you be doing if your house goes on the market in two days and your son has been sick for four days and you need to clean the house and pack and get ready to move and you really need groceries?
Answer: You should immediately go to Home Goods and buy this silver peacock because, clearly, he is the solution.
I’ll take my compliments where I can get ‘em.
I love this kid.
I pick up JJ’s 4 y.o. friend for a playdate. He gets in my car.
Friend: “Wowwww, WHAT a car! I love it!
Me: “Well, thanks. Is it the crumbs?” I mumble, backing up to get out of my parking spot.
Friend: “What? You can go backwards? Awesome!”
The Secret Life of Gramp
This week, Mama Kat (a fantastic website) asked people to write about a surprising thing about their grandparents…
Growing up, I knew that my grandfather was the mischievous one in the family. Even though he could be gruff, he had a twinkle in his bright blue eyes.
I grew up in a small New England town where most people knew each other. There was no question, however, that everybody knew my grandfather. A dairy farmer, a carpenter, a gardener, and a collector of junk treasures such as broken toilets, he was a man about town. At 6’5, he cut an imposing figure, which was softened by his worn-out overalls.
You could set your watch by his truck traveling down High St., back home for lunch at noon. My grandmother would have his lunch set on the table, pickles in a dish, sandwich wrapped in wax paper, and a cold glass of milk already poured.
He believed in hard work, none of this golf stuff. No time for leisure pursuits. When he wasn’t up on a roof or out in a field, he served on the board of the town improvement society and the church men’s league. He was an Odd Fellow, a membership he held with pride, wearing his kelly green blazer to meetings.
When he wasn’t busy working, he was busy making sure everybody else was working. He held his children and his grandchildren to high standards, never hesitating to ask us what we had accomplished that day. He considered himself the building inspector of our town, even though he held no such position. “Just checking to see what you’re up to.”
My cousins and I had heard stories about his younger years– the time he spent in the Old Skunk Hollow Gang with his friends, the time he and his brother almost drowned off the jetty. We knew he’d had adventures.
But imagine our surprise when, at a family cookout a year after my grandfather died, my dad said, “Good thing Gramp doesn’t know where you got this corn. He’d roll over in his grave.”
We’d bought the corn from a family farm down the street. (I’ll call them the “Shmoodman” Farm.)
“What’d you mean?”
“After they took his heifer, he was fit to be tied.”
“What?” What language were we speaking? “The Shmoodmans had stolen his heifer?”
“Yeah, and that’s not all. They’d cut up the fence to do it. We found the fence way down on Low St. Let me tell you, though, Ms. Shmoodman was not happy to see Gramp and Uncle George with their guns. Gramp and Uncle George were not happy to get struck by the Shmoodmans holding tree limbs.”
“What?”
“Well, they still claim they were pheasant hunting. But at night? In the Shmoodmans’ yard? Right after they found they had their fence? He was trying to scare them. Let them know they couldn’t go stealing heifers anymore.”
I’m not sure why we were just hearing this story now. It was like something out of a Tall Tale or a t/v show. But then, I guess, they didn’t want the impressionable youth knowing their grandfather was a revenge-seeking, gun-toting crazy man, even if it was over a stolen heifer and a cut fence.
“Oh, yeah, this was a long-standing feud. Hatfield-McCoy style,” my dad said.
Only it hadn’t been the 1800’s in rural West Virginia. It’d been the 1900’s in Massachusetts. But apparently, this feud was big. It was real.
In five minutes, my cousin and I had just become descendants of hillbillies. After all these years of Gramp telling us to behave, we’d found out that he’d been running around shooting at people?

Now we know the story, and we’ve seen the newspaper article to prove it “Grand Jury Absolves Coopers, Shmoodmans, in No. End Dispute.” An argument over a lost heifer was the cause of the court action.
As the years go by, we’ve heard more bits and pieces of the feud.
And now, in a weird twist of fate, we just bought a house right down the street from the Shmoodmans. I’ve already told my husband that there will be no feuds over lost baseballs or Frisbees. He’s in full agreement. But I’ve got my eye on him.
Does Your Reality Ever Match Your Fantasy in the Parenting World
Squirrels on a Bender (a.k.a Happy Easter)
At 5:00 a.m., under the cover of darkness, the Easter Bunny hid 80 wrapped chocolate eggs. The squirrels then devoured/ran away with 72 of them, leaving 8 eggs for the kids. The scene in the yard: squirrels on crack, silver wrappers everywhere, stunned children.
They say 40 is the new 30. I’m sayin’ it’s not.
A Hotel Night Without Kids is Like…
…being a kid in a hotel.
Mr. POTL and I slipped away to New York City for a night for a friend’s fortieth birthday party. There are so many things that are out of place with this sentence. Forty? (I was thinking we were still in our early 30′s.) New York City? Us? We occasionally go out in the neighboring suburb. Slipping away? We definitely don’t slip anywhere, not even to the bathroom, without our kids following us. But somehow the moon, the stars, the planets, and all other celestial matters aligned so that we could get out of town. My parents took the kids, and we drove away.
Usually when we’re in a hotel, we’re with the kids, and check-in goes something like this. Me: “Hey, stay over here. Watch out for that lady. Hold on a minute. Watch out for that man. Say ‘excuse me.’ I’m sorry, Sir. You know we’re checking in; it takes a while. Do you want to go to the park later? Then get over here.” By the time we get to our room, I’m sweating, and I can’t even tell you what the lobby looked like. My M.O. is to pass through the lobby as quickly and surreptitiously as possible. We scurry back and forth each time we enter and exit. I keep my head down.
When Mr. POTL and I entered the hotel alone, he went to check in while I ran to this chair and started spinning around in it:
I then grabbed Mr. POTL and made him take a picture with me:
Mr. POTL gets to stay in hotels without kids, so this wasn’t quite the event for him, but (as usual) he humored me. Who danced in the blue (blue?) elevator to the rave music? Us. (But I had the camera, so I have the proof.)
I was like Borat in the cheese section-”And what is thees? And thees?” or Daryl Hannah, as the mermaid in Splash. “Oh my! Look at this!”
Mr. POTL laughed, “Yes, that’s the bar. Mmm-hmmm. Chairs. Mmm-hmmm. Snacks.” And we hadn’t even left the lobby.
I don’t know how to play pool, but guess who played? Me. Simply because there was a pool table in the lobby. I would’ve swung on a trapeze, wrestled in Jello, or flipped on a trampoline if those had been options.
The bar opened at 5:00. We were sitting there waiting at 4:45 because I was drawn to it by its neon lights. So sparkly. So shiny. So silvery.
By the time we left, I was trying to buy one of the spinning pod chairs from the concierge. They were going to get rid of them to get new ones that had i-pod hook-ups. I was trying to find a way to purchase one. And take it home. A spinning pod chair. I wanted to bring a piece of that hotel back to my home. Or maybe I just wanted to bring the pool playing, chair spinning, elevator dancing kid in me back home.
prompt from http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/blog/ - to write about the last time you stayed in a hotel.



